Lately, when not traveling or working I’ve been doing a lot of hardcore chilling and relaxing. That means lots and lots of me laying on my couch, watching TV, and touching the screen of my iPhone. In no particular order, here are some of my new favorite ways to mindlessly entertain myself…

Sabra hummus is awesome. It’s the best pre-packaged hummus I’ve found so far. Albertson’s usually only has either original or roasted pine nut, but both are dynamite. The only downfall is that I really like Whole Foods’ jalapeno pita chips so I have to go to two stores to get my pita chip/hummus fix. And even though it makes my farts absolutely wretched, I don’t consider that a downfall because let’s face it. Horrid smelling farts are funny as shit.

If you aren’t familiar with TFLN (textsfromlastnight.com), then you have either been living under a rock, or have much more of a social life than I do, making it unnecessary for you to fill your time with pointless Web sites like this. Whatever the case, TFLN is really entertaining and a great way to pass the time. Here’s a quick screen shot of some of the shit people in my area have said recently. Is Long Beach fucked up? Not really…go check your area code.

Hoarders is a show on A&E about compulsive hoarders. It’s a bizarre psychological disorder where people just can’t throw shit away and it gets so bad that it causes serious problems. I don’t know why I’m so fascinated by these people, but the show is pretty damn good.

MSNBC has a good series called Lockup Raw where they profile prisons and inmates. I guess just like Hoarders, it’s a way for me to see people and their personalities that I’d never get to see otherwise. Lesson learned recently from this show: Never call someone a “punk ass bitch” in prison unless you want to get shanked.

Tool Academy is by far the best bad reality show on the air right now. It’s entertaining on so many levels. It’ll make you laugh, it’ll make you cry, it’ll make you pissed, it’ll make you happy… And it’ll probably make you dumber, but I’m taking my chances because I’m hooked. Anyone know where I can catch the second episode? I missed it!

No, this photo doesn’t allude to porn even though that’s a good way to pass time too. This is all about Poorman’s Bikini Beach. If you live in the L.A. area, you gotta back me up on this… It’s a late night, super low budget show for trashy dudes who like to see chicks in bikini’s. An old guy (Poorman) walks around with a microphone at bikini contests, amateur bikini wrestling matches, and other weird events documenting low clas girls in bikinis. I couldn’t believe it the first time I stumbled upon this gem. I see an Oscar in Poorman’s future.

And last, but certainly not least, Breyers ice cream! Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry is my favorite, but I usually keep at least one other flavor in stock (currently Snickers) just in case I’m in the mood for something different. Ice cream and doughnuts are my favorite foods, but because Breyers is made from milk and says “all natural” on the carton I trick myself into thinking it’s more healthy than doughnuts and okay to eat every night.

Way back in February I booked a flight to New Orleans for the last week in August for the Flatland Voodoo Jam. But then X Games popped up and was the same day, so I had to re-book my flight for another time. That other time was this past weekend. I had high hopes of riding my ass off, hanging out with my old friends, and seeing my family. I got to do all of the above, but had a few hangups along the way including, but not limited to:

- My luggage and bike not showing up until late the second day of my trip.
- Losing my phone and wallet in the French Quarter. (Thank the stranger with a good heart who found it and gave it back to me two days later.)
- Forgetting my computer charger in California.
- Forgetting my keys in my car.
- Ass hole security guards in both New Orleans and Baton Rouge.

But instead of harping on the bad, let’s focus on the good… Check out the photos!

This video was shot at the recent KOG contest in Japan. Amazing… If there is one thing that stokes me on riding BMX more than anything else, it is young kids riding!

Just found it randomly through Google images and thought it was rad.

Sort of reminds me on a very office geek version of one of my favorite artists, Andy Goldsworthy. If you aren’t familiar with his work, check out these images (also dug up from Google), then buy some of his books on Amazon. They are always good to have in your collection.

Seriously…come on…

Spotted on krtschmidt.com.

The best granola is Bear Naked. They sent me free samples once and I loved it. Now I lost their contact info so I have to buy it. I’m eating Banana Nut right now but also love Mango Agave Almond. The best hummus is from Phoenix, Arizona and I wish I could have some mailed to me.

I went for a bike ride today around Long Beach. At my house (a mile from the beach) it was bright and sunny. At the beach it was crazy overcast. So bizarre. I laughed.

Near the beach I saw a ton of six year olds learning to sail. I have to assume their parents are well off. I’m jealous of the homes I saw while riding around the marina and can’t wait to buy my first condo here in Long Beach. Hopefully it’ll happen soon…positive thoughts!

Here are two photos of the food shelves in my kitchen. Guess which section is mine, and guess which is my roommate’s. And guess which one of us will still have his health at the age of 35, haha.

I went to Woodward West this past weekend. There were pretty sunsets.

I already Tweeted about this, but I seriously can’t believe Daniel The Intern wears shoes like this.

This is epic… Wish there would have been a video camera on hand for this occasion.

The Nike 6.0 Huntington Beach contest is coming up, then X Games, then DK Dirt Circuit, then Portland Dew Tour. All should be awesome…

While on the Shadow Flow Team Road Trip I downloaded a memo recording app for my iPhone and recorded a few funny quotes from the guys on the team. I’m about to delete the app so I wanted to go ahead and save these quotes, and what better way to save them than on my blog?

“You’ve got Vicodin on your lip.”
- Albert Mercado to Rickey Bates after Rickey’s pain killer melted in his pocket all over his iPhone and Rickey licked it off.

“You ain’t gonna get skin cancer, just look at me…I’m almost black.”
- Trey Jones talking about Chris Mahaffey getting a sun burn.

“I’m a shitty kid from Oregon.”
- Caleb Quanbeck talking about not getting in trouble for masturbating in an airport.

“He’s like the most normal raunchy kid I’ve ever met…”
- Albert Mercado describing Rickey Bates.

“If they had good hair, I would.”
- One of the guys on the trip who doesn’t want to be named talking about Dave Rytell’s sisters, referring to Dave’s long hair.

“Man, those’ll get stolen, they are high top camos.”
- Rickey Bates talking about not wanting to put his stinky ass shoes outside the hotel door in Tallahassee.

I haven’t had a hair cut in more than two months. I haven’t shaved my face in five weeks. I have been wearing a shoe lace around my waist. The last trip I went on I only showered once. And for the first time in my life I’m seriously thinking about taking my brakes off. What the hell is happening to me?

I often come across things that I don’t have time to look at, so I bookmark them for later viewing. Such is the case with my new favorite photographer, Dan Vojtech from the Czech Republic. I can’t remember how I originally stumbled upon his work, but I absolutely love it. He combines action photos with concepts of advertising and fashion photography, and I think it is brilliant.

Check out the rest of his work at danvojtech.cz.

Below are a few of my favorite BMX shots from his collection.

I could see this on the cover of ride for a photo issue?just paint a background and logo on there…

Typically flashes in the shot are a no-no, but this is effective.

Love it. Love it. Love it. I would use this on the cover of my next calendar…

Good god, man… Red Bull is fucked.

85ft straight to water. No thanks.