New Favorite Ways To Entertain Myself

Lately, when not traveling or working I’ve been doing a lot of hardcore chilling and relaxing. That means lots and lots of me laying on my couch, watching TV, and touching the screen of my iPhone. In no particular order, here are some of my new favorite ways to mindlessly entertain myself…

Sabra hummus is awesome. It’s the best pre-packaged hummus I’ve found so far. Albertson’s usually only has either original or roasted pine nut, but both are dynamite. The only downfall is that I really like Whole Foods’ jalapeno pita chips so I have to go to two stores to get my pita chip/hummus fix. And even though it makes my farts absolutely wretched, I don’t consider that a downfall because let’s face it. Horrid smelling farts are funny as shit.

If you aren’t familiar with TFLN (textsfromlastnight.com), then you have either been living under a rock, or have much more of a social life than I do, making it unnecessary for you to fill your time with pointless Web sites like this. Whatever the case, TFLN is really entertaining and a great way to pass the time. Here’s a quick screen shot of some of the shit people in my area have said recently. Is Long Beach fucked up? Not really…go check your area code.

Hoarders is a show on A&E about compulsive hoarders. It’s a bizarre psychological disorder where people just can’t throw shit away and it gets so bad that it causes serious problems. I don’t know why I’m so fascinated by these people, but the show is pretty damn good.

MSNBC has a good series called Lockup Raw where they profile prisons and inmates. I guess just like Hoarders, it’s a way for me to see people and their personalities that I’d never get to see otherwise. Lesson learned recently from this show: Never call someone a “punk ass bitch” in prison unless you want to get shanked.

Tool Academy is by far the best bad reality show on the air right now. It’s entertaining on so many levels. It’ll make you laugh, it’ll make you cry, it’ll make you pissed, it’ll make you happy… And it’ll probably make you dumber, but I’m taking my chances because I’m hooked. Anyone know where I can catch the second episode? I missed it!

No, this photo doesn’t allude to porn even though that’s a good way to pass time too. This is all about Poorman’s Bikini Beach. If you live in the L.A. area, you gotta back me up on this… It’s a late night, super low budget show for trashy dudes who like to see chicks in bikini’s. An old guy (Poorman) walks around with a microphone at bikini contests, amateur bikini wrestling matches, and other weird events documenting low clas girls in bikinis. I couldn’t believe it the first time I stumbled upon this gem. I see an Oscar in Poorman’s future.

And last, but certainly not least, Breyers ice cream! Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry is my favorite, but I usually keep at least one other flavor in stock (currently Snickers) just in case I’m in the mood for something different. Ice cream and doughnuts are my favorite foods, but because Breyers is made from milk and says “all natural” on the carton I trick myself into thinking it’s more healthy than doughnuts and okay to eat every night.